the night i puked all over makati...

After waiting for my bf, after 9 hours were finally off. it was a promising night, the sky is clear, the people up and about, air thick with smoke, the same makati nightime we walked from glorietta to the parks around the city finally settling down to salcedo park, we watched how people do their nightly run, diffrent race, kids with american accents, funny actually a mix of people in an enchanting piece of land located in one of the bussiest place in manila...we talked of the future and our fears, our hopes and dreams, and our plans it was a wonderful night, when suddenly i felt weird i know that i havent really eaten anything that day, but i remembered that i had an apple in my bag, and so i munch away thinking about the future then i suddenly felt sick, i wanna puke, but i thought that i can handle it or its just me and i just need to unbutton my pants so that i can breathe easily.. well after that lets just say that im running towards the nearest restroom that i can find, first in a starbucks restroom, second in paseo center and lets just say tha the rest where everywhere, in front of petron, in the gas stations cr...literally everywhere..at first i thought that it was just the apple or the fit and right that i had, but it accured to me my body might be rejecting food, well this hasnt happen to me, but iv'e been trying to lose wait all my life im in my healthy state now, but on the back of my mind there allways a voice telling me that's too much or too many, or you need to lose more weight even though im in the best shape ever...i think society got to me an image of a perfect person, bulging muscles, a size 29 waistline, and a muscular physique, shallow it may seem but we know that this has been a standard of beauty for men, and no matter how we shrug ourshoulders the little voice on the back of our heads are saying otherwise...well i thought it was too much dieting i havent really eaten anything that day an apple can make me puke? well that's what happened... i was scared i don't know what to do... i took a rest, i ate something warm (kfc's soup) but everything that i ingest just go back up heck even water i puke...luckly i was withsomeone who cared enough and had a alertness to take me in makati med..well i was not up for it, i don't want to be hospitalized with bills and medical hoora's im against the idea...what i wanted was the feeling to go away...but i let him take me, he having the better judgement and thinking at that time...i slept at his lap on the cab going there, when we got there it was the usual checking and signing of papers, nurses pretending to be uber attentive and smart and very put together i hated it, i never was a person who show themselves being weak or helpless... i was injected with some medicine stuff that i cant even pronounce..lets just say after that i was woozy everything was blurry all i can see is a bed and its soothing voice telling me "come here"...after an hour or so i was ok...i learned that night that do not take yourself for granted... yes society's pressure is a contributing to what i feel and what i think what is right but im learning to breathe and le go...

shaving my head...

finally i shaved my head to its roots! wooooohoooo well it was a long battle with the stylist at bench fix i always asked them if the semikal look suits me, i never got a straight answer though. now hair is important, this becomes a trade mark, our armor, our sense of who we are, now imagine that armor being taken down leaving you expose for everyone to see... that's difficult... but i said to myself if im not doing it now when will i be ready? when will i be ready for new things? i decided then and there to shave it off, mario (fix hairstylist) was already finishing up my hair when i said: "just shave it all off" right then and there i saw my armor falling like chunks of metal falling before my very eyes, i dared not to look in the mirror but you cant help it, people were staring at me wondering if i were crazy, well i wasnt..sort off... hehehe after that i quick rinse and a shampoo i looked in the mirror, i cannot recognize my self the red big lips where there, the same mole, some zits and blackhead, deep set eyes, but i look diffrent! i cannot recognize myself...is this the real me? was the hair was just a mask? it took time for me to get over the shock factor everytime i look into a mirror. but lets just say that i gambled good and i won, i think that im getting more attention now than ever when i had my hair. well this doesnt apply to guys only if you dont want to go bald try a diffrent cut, sytle, color....life is just to big for you to have one look.

100 things to do before i die

well to start the new year i wanted something diffrent, i want to do something that i don't do before hence i put my eyes on blogging...well here's my first entry.. the rule is simple complete the list, no changing, no alteration and if you have done that before you have to do it again.. and yeah you can patent your list with mine:)

100 things to do before i die

1.) shave my head
2.) watch the sunset alone
3.) watch the sunrise with someone
4.) get a tatoo
5.) climb a mountain
6.) plant a tree
7.) write a book
8.) learn how to drive
9.) learn a foreign language
10.) learn how to swim
11.) move out of the house by 25
12.) appear in a movie
13.) visit another country
14.) finish collage
15.) paint a picture (a good one)
16.) learn how to draw
17.) try bunjie jumping
18.) invent something that actually works
19.) read the bible
20.) change someone's life (they have to say this to you)
21.) watch a broadway show
22.) watch a major concert
23.) participate in a rally
24.) visit a home for the aged
25.) run in a marathon
26.) have atleast 100 pairs of shoes
27.) sleep with a hooker
28.) put up a bussiness
29.) participate in a threesome
30.) name a star after yourself
31.) visit a memorable place and reminisce
32.) teach a class for a day
33.) volunteer for a good cause
34.) visit a tourist spot in your country
35.) watch kids play in a playground
36.) fall in love, really fall inlove
37.) make friends with stranger
38.) sunbathe on a beach
39.) watch an old black and white film
40.) pose nude in a photograph
41.) learn how to cook
42.) learn how to dance
43.) babysit even once
44.) be a judge in a competition
45.) write a poem for someone
46.) write a msg and throw it at sea
47.) write a love letter
48.) try a taboo dish
49.) buy a really expensive thing
50.) hug your mom and tell her that she is special
51.) watch a firework display
52.) do 1 act of random kindless
53.) shoplift atleast once
54.) visit the city zoo
55.) write a song
56.) watch a movie alone
57.) dance infront of people
58.) spend 24 hours with one person
59.) lose 10 or 20 lb's
60.) scream your heart out
61.) watch someone sleep
62.) visit a museum
63.) complete a thousand piece puzzle
64.) go to all shops in a mall
65.) surprise someone (romatically)
66.) sing the national anthem
67.) donate your old clothes
68.) enter a strip club
69.) scuba dive
70.) go to a theme park
71.) participate in a rave party
72.) pull a prank on april fool's
73.) learn the constallation
74.) buy a house or a condo
75.) have your destiny read
76.) get really really hammered
77.) ice skate
78.) participate in a costume party
79.) throw a birthday bash for someone
80.) dance in a rain with someone and kiss them
81.) make love outdoors
82.) learn to rollerblade
83.) see a comet passby
84.) touch a lion
85.) have ur portrait painted
86.) witness a birth of a baby
87.) carve ur name on a tree
88.) attend a wedding
89.) make someone cry of happiness
90.) visit the city jail
91.) learn to play a music intrument
92.) see a lunar eclipse
93.) sleep under the stars
94.) own a car ( a nice one)
95.) live in a motel/hotel for a month
96.) be naked in your house for 24 hours
97.) spend a day without any gadgets or any electronic device
98.) watch a game live
99.) survive a near death experience
100.) finish the list

simple hope i ge to finish this...